Trying to build a relationship on a fractured foundation

Build: To make something by combining materials or parts. To increase or strengthen by adding gradually to. Assemble, compose, form, frame, make, or construct. As I came up with this topic I was thinking about the relationship between me and my father. From the beginning of my childhood, life's circumstances has caused the foundation of relationship with me and my father to be fractured (damaged). As I sit here I find myself thinking how can someone repair a foundation once something has already been established on that foundation? When a skyscraper has been built can you just repair (reconstruct) the foundation without affecting the building? There are relationships in our life that if we could start over again we would change the foundation. There are critical ingredients that go into building a solid foundation in order to sustain what is built on top of that foundation. Quality time is one of these critical ingredients. A recipe (i.e. relationship) can have all of the right ingredients but if the timing is off then this can change the quality of that recipe. The recipe of relationship must be mixed with the ingredient of quality time in order to remain stable. I understand that once certain recipes have been made you can not go back and take out what has already been mixed. Can you extract sugar out of a glass of tea once it has already been mixed (intermingled) into the tea? Can you extract tea out of a glass of water once the tea from the bag has already mixed (infused, saturated) into the water? There are certain things that once they are mixed become part of the molecular structure of the substance that it was mixed with. As I end , I would admonish(urge) you to concentrate your mind and your heart on God because he can uproot any foundation and repair that which has been damaged. I am a witness of how the hands of God repaired the foundation of my life that was damaged by a polluted heart and mind. If God can repair a broken life and destiny than he can repair a broken relationship.

When Lustful Thoughts Encapsulate Your Mind: how do you escape?

Encapsulate: Surround completely. To enclose, capture, compress, encase, condense, cover, or wrap. As a teenager I found myself exposed to very graphic material. My mind and eyes had never been exposed to these images (pornographic) . I never realized how powerful the images were until I tried to keep them out of my mind. It seemed as though it was easier for me to think about the images than it was to ignore/forget about them. It seemed easier to be comfortable with the images than to disregard the images. These images were changing my perspective toward women and also my image of the role of a man. I never told anyone about the habits that I was forming from viewing these images but I began to play out these images in my lifestyle. I found myself seeking to fulfill the images of pleasure that engulfed my mind. I minimized(devalued) relationships because of these images which tainted my mind. In April of 2003 when I gave my life to God I still had struggles and I had to come to the realization that I can not escape this bondage under my own power, and that I needed a greater force to deliver me. I had to make a decision to transform the atmosphere of my mind which made it easy for me to entertain these thoughts of inferiority (destruction) . When a prisoner is in bondage they need someone with a key to loose their chains/shackles. I realized that only God had the key that I needed. Only when I became uncomfortable with my tainted mindset is when I began to seek a way out. Are you uncomfortable in your thought life? I had been struggling under my own power for a while and just continued to fail. I just want to encourage you to seek God because his source of power never fails no matter what situation you find yourself encapsulated in.

Detaching Yourself, in order to gain a clearer perspective

Detach: To separate or unfasten; disconnect. To remove from association or union with something. Uninvolved, isolated, uncaring, loose, unaffectionate. If you had a habit that was killing you would you detach yourself from that habit? Sometimes our mind and our heart are detached and not on one accord. We can think one thing with our mind but our heart is focused on doing something else. Sometimes we must detach ourselves from certain relationships which bring certain atmospheres. How do you detach a heart that yearns for a connection? How do you detach an ear that yearns to hear a special voice? I have come to the realization that we must allow the presence of God to be what our heart yearns for. We must also allow the voice of God to be the voice that our ears desire to hear. It is hard to attach to God when you do not set aside time for him. Sometimes people may feel that detaching can do more harm than good, which is why we may choose to stay attached to something even though we are not at peace. If a doctor were to surgically remove someones toe or leg this would cause their mobility to be affected. There is a doctor though that can detach (separate) you from whatever is causing you to be out of God's will, without allowing you to be harmed in the process. God has a spiritual prescription which can offset the side affects of being detached. As a patient in the hospital lies on the bed waiting to be operated on; will you allow yourself to be positioned so that God can operate on your situation? If we could operate on ourselves then there would be no need for physicians; so allow this surgeon to detach (remove) the issue so that you can gain a clearer perspective on life.

Seeking to be married but struggling to live single

Single: Not divided; unbroken. Exclusive, separated, unblended, unshared, or unmixed. As I reflect back on the years when I was in high school and college I can clearly remember my intentions for seeking after women. It was because of their company. I wasn't content unless I was being entertained by a pleasant face and a pleasant smile that was also accompanied with a pleasant voice. I didn't necessarily need the physical interaction but just being in the presence seemed to be enough for me. Now that there has been a transformation in my life I can look back and compare those past experiences to my current relationship with God. I realize that in order to be effective in relationship you must first understand that you are not incomplete just because you are not in a relationship. Until you come to the realization that you are not incomplete just because you are not married, dating, courting, etc. then you are not mentally prepared to handle the dimensions that come with being married. One must first be content with being in relationship with God before seeking a mate. As long as there is a struggle in your relationship with God then this is a type and shadow (example) of things that are to come when you seek to join to someone who can never add up to the superior characteristics (qualities) of God. If I am struggling to be satisfied by a God that lacks nothing then how can I expect to be satisfied by a human that has weaknesses? If an infinite God can not fill the hollow areas in your life then how can a finite person fill those areas? There must be a mirror that allows us to see an example of what being married truly entails and this mirror is our relationship with God. Ask yourself "is your mirror blurry or clear?"